ThE GuNNerS DrEaM

Long Long time ago

2011-10-05T23:29:00.003+06:30

i Wish i could go back in time and play video game by bunking my sports class....i wish a time that i spent praying with my hands closed enough to catch the sweat of my little age. .....i still remember the sound of freedom coming from a metal that gave me energy to packup untouched world of imagination into a small bag of canvas. i always wondered how small skirt a girl can wear.... i always wondered how long i can run after the candies of books....i always wondered how lovely this world would be after this rules and regulations. ..;... i never thought i am loosing a close touch...i never imagined a friend can be lost so easily....i forgotten you my school....i lost you with the time ......why the hell this race of BREATHING for the life is not ending. ........why do i have to forget you my dear.

sandeep mehla
K V 2, Sec D comm
batch: 1999

A page of the Book

2010-04-13T23:56:00.004+06:30

The changing season of earth takes all the kind towards an unpredictable period of illusion that it’s so hard to believe the beauty of the sunrise. You have grown like the same road in the desert on where only few have walked but now it’s broken and disturbed and still young enough to take you to the destination. The centre is unknown to you and to everybody. But even flowing water makes the hardest stones to roll with soft and smooth corners. It’s so restless and uncontrollable that you make it more worse with the time. The stone has been shrunk from its original size. The wind is changed and the sky is broken down into pieces of clouds. The road is still empty and there is a long way to walk. Remembering the time and the change in time it only takes a breath to change the life of an unknown soldier to die. The broken mountain can see all the trees coming down with it but who told them to grow on it. You even have flown with river but river is not flowing with you. You have been stuck in some corner of the ground and there is no place to go ahead. The road will still take you there but why it has become so difficult to walk on this beauty. Ohh God give me sand, give air, give water but don’t turn the page.

Don't know why you're smiling

2009-09-08T01:17:00.001+06:30

Have you ever realized a little smile or may be a silent face without welcoming any next question to your mind. What makes you to feel like you were never being a part of this old tree that has got no new leaf to be born? Life is still with you. You are still the same old road which will take to the same old three kings’ chapel. A silent wind is blowing through the window of colorful glasses. Did you see that facial expression in front of the reflection? It was fake? The truth is still like an unborn chicken in an egg. It will depend on only you which one do you want to be hatched. Did you hear the sound of unborn chicken in the egg. He is also calling for the life. But what makes you to control this power. Some people call it sin. But I call it freedom. Something which you can control like the road to the chapel and road to your garden of sweet lily’s. Its not decided and nobody will decide unless you. But something is called “PRECIOUS”. Something that can never leave you apart from your life. And you realize the happiness in the pain. This garden was never green before like this but I don’t see any lily’s. but why there are so many people. Are these people for me or they want to go to the chapel? Give a word to this hungry desert and take the most sacred water drop by him.

A DoT

2009-08-17T23:29:00.002+06:30

Fascinating world of this lifeless toys attract me to be a part of them. Life is not going so slow but they are shouting a lot to get my attention. Truth is unknown to us but a boundation of carrying to continue is living with us. You see the centre of the earth in that thing that you were totally unfamiliar with. But soon you realize that the centre has become the full stop of your life. Why to end this continuation. Are you tired of walking or you don’t want to walk? This light is born from beginning and there is no end to it until these eyes closes for…….. forever. It is a sparkling glow that is fascinating you, living apart from all of the rest and taking you to a mysteries world of miracles where you forget about the real light and run behind little fire flies of pain. How can you think so small after facing the real? Don’t tell me that you are scared of touching this unlimited light or you want a FULL STOP TO IT.

Class of our own

2009-07-26T19:12:00.002+06:30

Life is a part of experience that you share with life, isn’t it strange. I mean how you can share something with someone from whom you have learned everything. Thank you the lord for this white blind life. Blind but life. I can see everything but I am not blind. How can you examine yourself when there is no teacher rather then you? You are the only student of this class and you are the only teacher. It depends on only you what subjects you want to study. Some people are busy with this easy going subject of dreams. They live in the life of dreams and never get to know when there studies are over. And time to leave this class room. They told me to go for this easy one. When you look at the cloudy sky with only small portion of real sky visible. What do you want to see? A small leaf throwing itself with this hard wind but still growing towards the untouched sky under this sun. Don’t you feel a difference? Don’t you want to go to the reality? I know they will fall apart after some time but can you tell me how long can you hold.

Monk and The Soldier

2009-06-23T06:57:00.001+06:30

Its just a flick of second between life and death. But if u don’t die what are u left behind. I can feel a never-ending pain that is coming from dark color of the blue sky but without any rain. Do u still feel. Do you remember the first touch of the leaf under the sun? How soft and touching it was. A small touch moved the two different horizons in the same direction. The smell. First to the bounded world of your own. A different smell. Change is life. But what is the change. Change that thundered your beginning up to the end. You have forgotten every small change in your life. What is the power? I turn to look back where I was. But it was gone. I melt the iron. But I didn’t get the time where I was. Now its just a laughing monk looking at me but nothing to loose and nothing to gain. What is this? Is this a stage where I can ask for something,. Where I can talk to something but what is the end of all these mysteries play. Still I can here that voice that thundered me from top to the bottom. But is there any reflection on the other side of the shadow. Now you are in other world and your soul in other. And the end of this beginning has started.

ILLusion

2009-03-30T14:13:00.004+06:30

Let’s not talk about the reality. Le me be in the life of illusions. You always talk about practical. The possibility of life. The real nature. Have you ever realized where you are? Possibility is a fascination of dreams. You told me about the wings but where are the shoulders to carry on. I can fly real high but still feet are on the ground. How do you define the sky. I was tought by my teacher to be a man. Live your drams. Where is the dream? There is no battle to fight. Why are you still leaving in the world of fantasy. Let be the real hero. There is no world to return. There is no way but just the only one. Lets walk on this path where there is no place to go. Walk with desperation of breathing. But let’s not think about it. Let it never be divided into two because you are the only one who will realize at the end of the time. Can you play a song for me because I am not sleeping and I am not going anywhere? Let’s continue breathing.

EnD

2009-03-16T14:47:00.000+06:30

“This breathing has stayed for a long time feeling every stage of new leaf till the end. Remember when you first went alone in the sky. You discovered colorful clouds all around you. You choose some and started playing without even realizing how far you have come from the beginning. As closer as you try to go. It is vanishing into white. What do you learn? Have you realized it’s an imaginary world? I see people enjoying with music, games, festivals, celebrating past memories. Where is the touch? Is it physical or something else which is smiling from far away? You tried to follow the path of unknown sky. But when you are tired and lost all hopes you relax yourself sitting alone on a rough stone and you see all clear sky above your head in which you were walking few moments ago. Look around. Still it looks like something new. You discover. Walk miles but where is the end? What is the end? Is this you who are ending with the time?”

Empty Box

2009-03-16T14:38:00.002+06:30

“Imaginations". Imagine you are nothing. I think you have never imagined yourself as nothing. You try to think nothing but still you think something. Why this mind runs like wind in every corner of the past, present and future. It’s like a broken box of matchstick from a height and matchsticks all around on the floor pointing at different locations. None is same and you have not even touched one. But the box is empty. Empty your box. Let every thing leave on the floor and look up. What do you see? Did you see the sky of untouched boundary? Imagine yourself like a free soul flying without any force to unknown place for no reason with the unknown way of no direction. Fly till the time you don’t find anyone else. But soon you will realize that there is no one other then you. You are everything. You are the god of your own world. There is nothing practical. There is nothing impractical.

Destiny

2008-10-17T20:22:00.001+06:30

It’s a beautiful day like any other day of life. You see a shining thing from the east. It’s so bright like never before until you have reached this stage of life. Its so beautiful like something inside is smiling without any reason. Why there is a need of touching it. There is something inside. This shine, which is diverting you from every thing and you just want to come closer to this bright light to feel nothing that ever happened. You decide your destiny. You start moving, running, doing wearied things that will take you closer and closer. You have a small cloud inside you for which you have walked so long. Long very long like never before for this hunger. And you fee so happy looking at the shine straight coming on your head. It’s so bright. Like never before. You laugh. You play. You enjoy like unborn child with lot of toys around you. You see there is something wrong. The shine is moving away. You have walked miles and miles. But where you went wrong. Why this shine is moving away. You see it’s becoming dull and dull and vanishing on some other corner of the earth. You start moving again. But you are still behind. And now you have started running but still there is no change. You feel so tired. Out with the energy. You can’t go further. You knee down on the sand. Just looking at the fading shine. Its dark here. You keep on going to get that light. Light of your life. You have walked a lot. Miles and miles. Years and years. Every day you come across that shine but its goes out by the time. You are thundered and shocked to see yourself on the same place where you have started. There is some thing different. You didn’t need any support when you have started and now you have a piece of wood and dark doors of death are welcoming you. You have wasted your whole life running for this shine. The shine, which you decided as your destiny. But now you think was that really my destiny? What is the use of thinking when you have lost your whole time of life? And you will never ever be able to see that shine again. What is your destiny?

A new strange world

2008-10-08T19:58:00.005+06:30

A voice or may be a sound attract your attention once it reaches your ear. You see people chanting, playing, dancing and laughing with the glory of happiness on their face like never before. Colors are bright. A trance is in the air. Moving everybody towards unknown doors that never opened before. You stand still. You are not with them but standing on the roadside looking at them with a strange look of curiosity. You want to go with them but there is something that is holding you from behind. You look back. There are no hands. Was that my past. Who was that? Remember when you were young. With unrest feet and with unlimited energy you discovered the new world of your own. Did you stop that time? What happened now? Why have you stopped? And now you stair at the empty road where everybody is gone and just dry leaves move with the flow of unknown wind.

Uncovered Circumferences

2008-10-04T02:02:00.007+06:30

Life ….A mystery in this mysteries world. Involves lot of things, emotions, feelings, opportunities, struggle, memories and many more. Why a bird has to fight for his whole life for food? What have you got after working, talking, making fun, laughing, and crying in a normal day? The time is running out of your hands like water. Why water? Why not anything else, Is this also a part of desires of human. Have you ever tried to think beyond the emotions, beyond the struggle, beyond the desires? What have you got? Where are you heading to. Do they still laugh with you? play with you as they were when you were a little life with no boundaries of thinking. With no horizon of hunger. The world was so small to your limitations just like a walk to the candy shop. And again, here comes the same time reminding of all those small starts, but towards the ending. Where is the difference? Everybody was happy that time and now, you don’t have any hand to help you in your slow walk. You have a piece of wood that will take you towards some more woods where you will end up this mystery with flames in the sky. Do you know where have you gone? Did you touch circumference of the circle?

The dreamless desert

2008-03-01T01:13:00.005+06:30

Open your eyes. What do u see. Do u see a life. Do you understand the silence? Have u ever thought of how precious u r? You are coming through the green fields, the blue sky. Enjoying every movement spreading happiness everywhere. Have you ever thought that somebody is looking for you? Waiting from the endless time just to see black clouds over the head. The expectations are very high. May be this time you have something for me. May be you are left out with some old rusted metal. The end is near. I am nobodies home. Not even the hungry vultures. This is only you who can make me feel a little nice. Make me feel that I do sustain. All dreams are lost in the salience. Will that day come when you will have something for me? Will you be able to fulfill my hunger that I have from the beginning. When will you heal my wounds? Ohhhh dear rain when will you come?. When will you come?

The Endless River

2008-02-09T01:26:00.000+06:30

The child is happy. Looking into the object by the curosity of exploring. There comes the cloud of lions roaring down to the feet of little born shaking heartbeats with tears in hand. Where is the green garden of god where he laid down and dreamed about the fantasy of life? The leaves have gone dry. The burning light of sun is straight on the face. Where is the shadow of cloud that was touching the sand of happiness? It was here only few moments before laughing and dancing like a young butterfly with rainbow on the wings. What happened to the butterfly? Who took it away from the green field where the child looked at it with questions surrounding the mind like earth to the sun? Now the child is alone in the empty desert of painful wild wind. There are miles to go looking for second eye. Having the smile of life in mind. The child is just moving on the rude path of endless river where there is no sea to meet. Has the child grown? Has he learnt to fight with cruel shouting crows? Now the sun is leaving him with all the pain and night is waiting with the strange animals. Just waiting to release them. Will child be able to survive the coming storm? He is looking at his empty hands but there is no one to hold them.

The soldier that never fought

2008-02-08T00:19:00.000+06:30

I was staring at the rising sun on the battlefield of life. It is so calm and silent like the empty graveyard with little lilies on some old grave with no staring eyes. I looked on. So clear. Its a little cold out here in the morning feels like winter is leaving the door and spring is just about to come. Very pleasant but too silent. Reminds me of the good old days of life where I played like a free soul with flowers in my hand. Some hawker asking for newspapers and liquor bottles breaks the silence and the imagination is gone with the wind. I have to get ready for a new hectic day where I will be lost in the pain of the unbeaten wound. Feeling thirsty but cant fulfill it. I have got sweet all around me but it tastes so bitter. I didn’t ask for it. But I have been given this by the life. I have no choice. Just standing on the edge of decision for what to do next. I can’t go back to hazy time. Can’t even ask for the flowers that I held. Its dark outside. Just thinking is this what I asked for .I don’t have any scariness to get lost. But did I fight. Do I have found out? Am I fighting with myself? Is there any enemy? Where is my flower? Questions and questions and there is no answer. I think its time for me to fight for the life. The life of my own imagination. The life of my dreams.

ColorFull People Of RajasThan

2006-06-07T18:23:00.000+06:30

Colors Of Rajasthan

2006-05-04T12:34:00.000+06:30

Exam phobia

2006-05-03T19:59:00.000+06:30

this is my first post on my first blog. my second semester exams are coming and i have not yet completed a single subject. still i am not scared to be failed. many friends of mine are in tension regarding exams. i do study but half of my exams are depend on chits that i normally make before 2 days of exams. i can tell you different tecniques of cheating in exams. touch wood i have't been cought a single time in my life doing cheating.

1) Have confidence in you while cheating in exams.
2) Dont look at examiner while cheating.
3) You have to be very quick in cheating as quick as you are as sucessful you will be.
4) Start cheating as soon as you get question paper bec teacher will be busy in distribution and attendance.
5) Should have less body movements. As more body movements you have, more you will be pointed out
6) Whatever chit you open first, complete that chit first and dont keep it with you for rest of the time.
7) Keep on writing any shit when teacher walks through you.
8) Make smart chits dont write mahabharat in chits.
9) Try to ask any LOGICAL question from teacher so that teacher should think he has studied and going to do own his on. Teacher will ignore you in class and u can carry on your activity

best of luck from my side